Anger is an emotional state that can range from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. When you get angry, your heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of energy hormones like adrenaline and noradrenaline increase. These changes are accompanied by physiological and biological shifts in your body.
Anger can be caused by both internal and external factors. For instance, you may feel angry at a specific person, like your colleague or supervisor, or because of an event such as a traffic jam or a cancelled flight. Alternatively, your anger might stem from worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or infuriating events can also trigger anger.
What Approaches Can Be Used to Deal with Anger?
Anger is a natural response to threats, but social norms limit how far it can take us. People use three approaches to deal with anger: expressing, suppressing, and calming.
Expressing Anger
Expressing anger in an assertive manner is the healthiest way to deal with it. This approach involves clearly stating your needs and finding ways to get them met without hurting others.
Suppressing
Anger can also be suppressed and converted or redirected into more constructive behaviour. However, if left unexpressed, it can turn inward, causing hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression. Unexpressed anger can also lead to passive-aggressive behaviour or a hostile personality, making it difficult to maintain successful relationships.
Calming
Calming down inside is another approach, involving control of both outward behaviour and internal responses to lower heart rate, soothe yourself, and allow the feelings to subside.
Why Are Some People Angrier Than Others?
Some people are more prone to anger than others, getting angry more easily and more intensely. They may not exhibit their anger in a loud or aggressive manner but are persistently irritable and grumpy. These individuals tend to have a low tolerance for frustration and find it difficult to handle injustice. The causes of this vulnerability can be genetic, physiological, sociocultural, or related to family background.
Is It Good To “Let it All Hang Out”?
Is it really a good idea to “let it all hang out”? Psychologists now suggest that this is a dangerous myth. Some individuals use this theory as an excuse to hurt others. Studies have found that expressing anger aggressively only leads to increased anger and aggression, and does not help you or the person you are angry with to resolve the situation. Instead, it is advisable to identify what triggers your anger and then develop strategies to prevent those triggers from pushing you over the edge.
Are You Too Angry?
If you are experiencing intense feelings of anger and feel like you are acting out of control, there are psychological tests that can help you measure the intensity of your anger and how prone you are to it. However, it’s likely that you already know if you have an issue with anger. If you find yourself acting in ways that are concerning or harmful, it might be time to seek help and learn better ways to deal with this emotion.
Strategies to Keep Your Anger Away
Relaxation, cognitive restructuring, and problem-solving are just a few strategies to keep your anger at bay.
Relaxation
Relaxation tools like deep breathing and relaxing imagery can help you calm down when you’re feeling angry. There are plenty of resources available to teach you these techniques. Here are some simple steps to follow: breathe deeply, repeat a calming word or phrase, use imagery, and practise non-strenuous exercises. Remember to practise these techniques daily so you can use them instinctively when you’re in a tense situation.
Cognitive Restructuring
Cognitive restructuring means changing how you think when you’re angry. Use rational thoughts instead of exaggerated, dramatic ones. Avoid words like “never” or “always.” Remind yourself that getting angry won’t fix anything and won’t make you feel better. Use logic to keep anger in check. Instead of demanding things, translate expectations into desires. This prevents anger from taking over. Remember that hurt won’t go away with anger.
Problem Solving
Problems in life can make us angry or frustrated, and not all problems have solutions. Instead of focusing on finding a solution, focus on your approach to the problem. Make a plan, track your progress, and try your best. Don’t punish yourself if the solution doesn’t come right away. With a serious attempt to deal with the problem, you’ll be less likely to lose patience or fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem isn’t solved immediately.
Do You Need Counselling?
If you are struggling with controlling your anger and it’s starting to affect your relationships and important aspects of your life, it might be beneficial to consider counselling. A licensed mental health professional or psychologist can assist you in developing various techniques to manage your emotions and behaviour.
When speaking with a potential therapist, be open about your anger issues and ask about their approach to anger management. Ensure that their strategy is not just about expressing your feelings but actually helping you to manage your anger. According to psychologists, with counselling, a highly angry individual can make progress towards a more moderate level of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the circumstances and techniques applied.
